she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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