Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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