you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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