My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This toilet bowl is my home.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize