So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
