Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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