why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
