There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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