careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
