as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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