I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
