Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
