U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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