: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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