she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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