So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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