k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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