the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
