I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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