Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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