its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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