I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
