I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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