In America we eat man semen.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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