This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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