You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
