I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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