I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
