he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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