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theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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