Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
