That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
