Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
