The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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