Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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