I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
