How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
