I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
