is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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