Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
