i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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