69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize