We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
