at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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