Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
