Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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