they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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