Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize