Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
