Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
