I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
