Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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