We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
