Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
