Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
