we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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