his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
