do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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