Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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