im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
