I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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