So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
